So i have come to the point of my life where "sedapnya nak makan semua benda!" and "tak boleh jadi nie kena diet!" and this is really stressful.
There's this thing called #30DaysNoRiceChallenge on the social media where people don't eat rice for 30 days. You can eat whatever lauk you want of anything but no rice. So I've accept the challenge and try not to eat rice. It was okay at first but after a week i started to crave for food not just rice but carbs!! I try to look for food anywhere not to mention keep going out to 7Eleven and buy junk food. I even asked my friend almost everyday when they're going out for lunch cause i wanna follow or if I can't join them I'll just tapau nasi. I ate a lot of craps too!!
It's true though the more you try to prevent the more you'll crave for it. I can't stop thinking of food. Even late at night I'm still chewing biscuits or bread and this is so frustrating. I do think it's okay cause every week i spent a lot of time playing sports and go to the gym but it hurts me after i eat and i realize my belly feel so big like it would torn my shirt off. Now i'm so stress about my body.
My height is about 160 cm and I'm 49kg. But after all those things I've ate last week i bet my weight now can be 50 or 51. I'm at the "normal range" for Asian according to the BMI calculation but it ain't normal for me! Urghh this is so sad. I'm trying to keep fit and stay thin but the food, it's just way too addictive. I even Google search for places to eat around KL, Shah Alam and Selangor. I've made a list tho.
My mom keep telling me just enjoy my teenage life, eat whatever i want, go wherever i please to but make sure you stay healthy. But umi, being fat is not okay for me and i hate it! I want that 48 kg and i will try as hard as i can to get it. I don't do this so people can look at me and say i'm pretty or whatever but i'm doing this for own pleasure. That kind of self confidence.
Now every time i wanna eat i'll be thinking "how many carbs will i consume?" "how many calories are in the food?" "Is that too sweet?" but most importantly i'll be asking my self "CAN I EAT? IF I DO WILL I REGRET IT LATER?" hurmm my friend said i should just forget about all this and just enjoy the food. But what if i eat too much then i'll be so lazy to do sports or even go to the gym anymore? Haihhh so frustrating Aimi Nadiah!!
I need a healthy diet and weekly fitness session so i can be discipline on my diet and stay fit. But i'm sure gonna eat everything that i crave for before i die. Just the matter of time. Still, food why you have to be so good and so bad to me.
